Ep. 59 Anger Management Mastery: Embrace Emotions in a Sober Life

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Understanding and Managing Raw Emotions Without Alcohol

When you choose to lead an alcohol-free lifestyle, one of the most challenging aspects can be handling the emotions you've long suppressed with your favorite drink. In Episode 59 of the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast, hosts Susan and Ruby dive into the complexities of anger and other raw feelings that often surface once you stop drinking.

The Nature of Anger: A Secondary Emotion

Anger can be described as a secondary emotion. This means it’s often a surface reaction to more profound, underlying feelings like fear, embarrassment, or hurt. Ruby shares the importance of not just addressing the anger itself but also understanding what is beneath it. For instance, we might lash out in anger when we're really feeling embarrassed or worried. These underlying emotions need to be acknowledged and processed to prevent recurrent anger.

The Anger Spectrum: From Embarrassment to Defensiveness

Through the episode, Ruby and Susan discuss various emotional layers that often lie beneath anger. Embarrassment, worry, defensiveness, and shame are some of the primary emotions that can trigger an angry outburst. Ruby shares a personal story about feeling embarrassed when her toddler threw a tantrum in a grocery store, which led to an angry response. Susan also highlights how defensiveness and shame can lead to anger, especially in situations where one feels inadequate or judged.

Shoving Down Emotions: How Alcohol Distorts Emotional Response

Ruby explains how alcohol numbs all emotions, including positive ones. This means that when people drink to avoid negative feelings, they also diminish their capacity for joy and happiness. Susan echoes this sentiment, sharing how alcohol doesn't eradicate anger but instead distorts it. Typically, the unresolved anger resurfaces later, often exacerbated by the effects of alcohol. She talks about how "mean Susan" would appear after a few drinks, leading to negative behaviors and strained relationships.

Steps Toward Managing Anger Without Alcohol

An essential part of an alcohol-free journey is learning new ways to manage and process emotions healthily. Susan and Ruby discuss several effective methods:

1. Discharge the Anger Physically: Ruby emphasizes the importance of quickly processing anger through physical activity. This could be screaming into a pillow, punching a punching bag, or even using techniques like EFT tapping.

2. Address the Underlying Emotions: After discharging the initial anger, it's crucial to confront the underlying feelings. Identifying emotions like fear, worry, or embarrassment and dealing with them can prevent future anger from building up.

3. Practice Self-Compassion and Set Boundaries: Susan shares that anger can often be a signal of violated boundaries. Practicing self-compassion and setting clear boundaries can help manage these feelings. If cooking dinner every night is a source of anger due to exhaustion, perhaps it’s time to order takeout occasionally.

4. Explore Creative Expression: Writing in a journal, painting, or even creating music are powerful ways to release pent-up emotions. Susan highlights using creative outlets to process anger, turning it into something productive rather than destructive.

Embracing Emotional Growth on an Alcohol-Free Journey

Ruby and Susan stress that going alcohol-free is more than just eliminating alcohol; it's an exploration of emotional sobriety. By facing and understanding your emotions, you become more empowered and self-sufficient. Ruby talks about seeing clients transform within a span of ninety days, moving from emotional turmoil to self-discovery and empowerment.

Tools and Techniques: EFT Tapping

Toward the end of the episode, Ruby introduces Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping. This method involves tapping on specific meridian points on the body while verbally acknowledging emotions. Both Susan and Ruby find EFT tapping to be incredibly effective for real-time emotion processing.

Conclusion: The Empowerment of Self-Love

Ruby underscores that learning to handle anger and other emotions without alcohol leads to empowerment and deeper self-love. Despite societal expectations and pressures, choosing to live alcohol-free offers a richer, more fulfilling experience. By processing underlying emotions and setting healthy boundaries, you can navigate life more authentically and joyfully.

In the end, the journey to feeling lit without alcohol is about more than abstinence; it's about exploring and embracing your full emotional landscape.

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Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
Email: [email protected]