Ep. 53 Unpacking the F Word: Failure as a Tool for Growth

Listen to the PODCAST Here
Watch the Podcast on YouTube Here

You can grow a garden and
grow your mind!


How Failure Fuels Growth in Your Alcohol-Free Journey

Welcome to another edition of the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast Blog with hosts Ruby Williams and Susan Larkin. This episode dives deep into a topic we’ve all grappled with at some point: failure. Many listeners, especially those participating in challenges like Dry January, often express feelings of defeat when they don't meet their goals. Ruby and Susan shed light on how failure can be a catalyst for growth and success. Let's uncover the hidden power of failure together.

Redefining Failure: Why It's Not a Bad Thing

One of the most profound points discussed by Susan was the societal stigma surrounding failure, especially when it comes to becoming alcohol-free. Hanging onto the notion that failure is inherently bad can not only hold you back but also derail your progress. Susan mentioned a listener's concern, “I’ve already failed Dry January. What’s wrong with me?”

Turning that concern on its head reveals the underlying opportunity: failure is a stepping stone rather than an indictment of your character. Failing isn't about the inability to succeed; it's about resilience and the lessons learned.

Neuroplasticity and Failure: Scientific Validation

Drawing from an Andrew Huberman podcast, Susan brought up an intriguing scientific perspective on failure. Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to adapt and change—is at its height in our younger years but diminishes as we age. However, the brain can reignite its neuroplasticity through a "chemical cocktail," a blend that includes failure and frustration alongside dopamine. By seeing failure as a data point rather than defeat, you're creating the conditions necessary for lasting change.

Shifting Perspectives: Embracing A New Definition of Success

Ruby emphasized the non-linear nature of an alcohol-free journey. In her coaching, she uses visual metaphors like pitfalls and sand traps to describe the inevitable ups and downs. Missteps aren't setbacks but markers highlighting areas that need attention.

“If you’ve already failed at Dry January, you haven't lost the game; you've gained invaluable data,” Ruby explained. Learning from these data points fosters self-awareness. For instance, if you drank on the second day after being alcohol-free the first day, it begs the question: what was different? The answer guides your next move and propels you forward.

Celebrating Small Wins and Redefining Success

Ruby and Susan underscored the importance of celebrating small achievements. Ruby uses tools like pom-pom celebrations and bead jars to mark every alcohol-free day, reinforcing positive behaviors and creating dopamine hits your brain craves for sustainable change.

Rather than fixating on perfection, focus on progress. Every mindful decision, increased self-awareness, and act of self-compassion is a victory. "It's about comparing yourself to your past self, not someone else," Ruby adds.

Power of Affirmations

Both Ruby and Susan stress the use of positive affirmations to navigate challenging times. Ruby's affirmation, "Patience, patience, patience," reminds her to embrace the process with grace. Similarly, Susan uses "Never question the decision," a mantra she couples with specific mudras (hand gestures) to ground herself in moments of doubt. These words carry immense power, offering motivation, intention, and a focus on self-love and compassion.

Relating to the Journey: Common Humanity

"I am beloved," Susan's affirmation, offers a gentle reminder that we are all on this journey together. Recognizing our common humanity helps alleviate self-inflicted pressures and allows us to approach our struggles with greater compassion, fostering a supportive inner dialogue.

Shifting From Shame to Support: A Community-Driven Approach

Susan pointed out how traditional models like AA can sometimes reinforce feelings of shame and guilt by focusing heavily on the concept of "day one.” In contrast, adopting a mindset that views setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures can break the cycle of self-sabotage. Understanding the importance of curiosity and mindful reflection allows you to build towards lasting change.

Building a Support Network

The value of community in the alcohol-free journey cannot be overstated. Seeking support and encouragement from like-minded people in spaces like the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast Facebook Group adds an invaluable layer of accountability and empowerment.

In Conclusion: Reap the Benefits of Embracing Failure

To experience the fullest extent of transformation, you must embrace failure not as an end, but as a critical juncture in your journey. Each stumble offers lessons that are instrumental in rewriting your relationship with alcohol. Ruby and Susan remind us that the joy is in the journey, and patience, resilience, and a shift in perspective can lead you to a life where you truly feel lit, alcohol-free.

Join us in our quest for betterment—learn, grow, and feel lit, because your best, alcohol-free self is worth the effort.

I want to hear from you! Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

 Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

 Find community and connection on the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/feellitalcoholfreepodcast

Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
Email: [email protected]