Ep. 39 Embracing Badassery: Overcoming Embarrassment in an Alcohol-Free Lifestyle

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 Reclaiming Your Identity Without Alcohol

Have you ever felt trapped in a love-hate relationship with alcohol? You're not alone. Many of us have tied our identities to social drinking, creating a challenging environment for anyone looking to step away from it. In a recent episode of the Feel It Alcohol Free Podcast, hosts Ruby Williams and Susan Larkin discussed the struggles and triumphs of embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle. Today, we dive deeper into their insightful conversation, providing actionable advice for those hoping to navigate these uncharted waters.

The Initial Struggles: Losing the "Fun" Label

Ruby Williams worked in the wine industry for two decades, making wine a significant part of her identity. She was the "wine party girl," always bringing the best bottles to events and organizing wine tastings. When she decided to go alcohol-free, Ruby admitted to feeling embarrassed. She feared being seen as "not fun" by her peers, a sentiment shared by many making the same transition.

Susan Larkin, similarly, felt uncomfortable being different and worried about appearing unrelatable. She pointed out how we often project our fears and judgments onto others, assuming they think the worst of our choices.

Challenging and Reframing Beliefs

Ruby and Susan offer a striking solution: challenge and reframe deeply rooted beliefs about alcohol. If you think you won't be fun without drinking, ask yourself, "Is this true?" Most likely, it's a belief you've constructed based on societal norms and peer behavior.

Begin by identifying and dissecting these negative beliefs. Ruby and Susan recommend using a technique called "Liminal Thinking." Firstly, recognize the belief and understand its origins. Next, ask whether this belief genuinely holds water. Finally, slowly reframe it into something positive.

For instance, you might start with, "I need to drink to have fun." Break it down: why do you believe this? What experiences led to this thought? Gradually reframe it: "I can be fun and engaging without alcohol. My presence and personality are what make situations enjoyable."

Creating Your Alcohol-Free Identity Statement

Another invaluable tool from Susan involves crafting an "alcohol-free lifestyle position statement" or "elevator pitch." This quick, rehearsed speech can efficiently communicate your choice without inviting judgment or lengthy discussions.

Examples include:
- "I feel much better not drinking. My anxiety and depression have significantly improved."
- "I'm doing a wellness challenge and feel great without alcohol."
- "I've discovered that I enjoy social settings more when I'm fully present."

Rehearse and internalize this statement until it feels natural, allowing you to confidently navigate social interactions.

Turning Embarrassment into Empowerment

It's normal to feel embarrassment or fear when breaking away from alcohol, primarily if you've tied it to your identity. Susan advises reminding yourself that people who don't have drinking problems generally won't care about your drinking habits. Interestingly, those who feel the need to comment or push drinks on you are often defending their own drinking habits.

Replace the embarrassment with empowerment. As Ruby advocates, embrace the term "badassery." Own your decision publicly and with pride. Teach people how to respect your choice by embodying it confidently.

Practical Tips for Navigating Social Settings

Initially, navigating social settings without a drink might seem daunting. Here are some practical tips:
1. **Order Mocktails:** Many social venues offer delicious non-alcoholic cocktails that look like the real thing. You don’t have to explain what’s in your glass.
2. **Plan Your Exit:** Have an exit strategy for situations where you feel uncomfortable. There's no shame in leaving early if it helps you stay strong.
3. **Bring Your Beverage:** If attending a gathering at someone's home, carry your preferred non-alcoholic drink. It shows courtesy and ensures you have something to enjoy.

Conclusion: Celebrate Your Journey

Switching to an alcohol-free lifestyle is more than just quitting drinking; it's about embracing a fulfilling, authentic way of living. As Ruby and Susan have shown, the transition is a journey of self-discovery, challenging limiting beliefs, and creating an empowered, fun, and healthy life.

Why not join Ruby and Susan on this liberating journey? Listen to the Feel It Alcohol Free Podcast for continued support and community. And remember, the badassery is in you—go ahead and celebrate it!

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Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching